Sixteen years ago today we went in to the hospital for a 'routine' non-stress test, and were told that our littler twin's heart rate had dropped significantly.
"Looks like your going to have some babies today." the doctor informed us. He penciled us in during his lunch hour.
"Well, I guess this is it." I said, somewhat shocked, but resigned, as I lumbered toward the waiting hospital room.
"I need a drink." my husband commented. . . I couldn't tell if he understood what was happening or not. I think maybe he did.
"YOU need a drink. . . " I repeated incredulously. Seems like I chuckled or something.
I have no idea if we really knew what we were getting into that winter day, so long ago. I think we were in denial, but deep down, there it was. We were going to bring 2 little lives into the world. They would take their first breaths, say their first words, take their first steps, smile up at us with shining eyes. . . and then 5 minutes later, they'd be taking driver's ed. They're a sneeze away from graduation. On the verge of . . life.
How did this happen? So many images come to mind. It is a terrible dance. Childhood is so fleeting. . . . I understand. . . now.
"Mommy, will you read me a story?" echoes from the past. There's no going back. They've come and gone.
Sixteen. . . It honestly feels like someone is slowly accelerating our lives into 'fast forward', turning up the speed dial, like a race car in slow motion. . . I've learned over the years. . . There's no way to stop it. All we have is . . now.
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